Today is the last day of January. Already. We got our Christmas tree taken down a couple of weeks ago and now the Valentines Day decorations have appeared. The new year season is officially over though I still want to take a last few moments to look back.
Several years ago as we headed into the first of what turned out to be 3 waves of downsizing at work I was wondering whether I would still be working there at age 55. This past summer was the 3rd wave and I hope the last for a long while, but I am a year past 55 now and I am grateful not to be on the job market at this time in life and in this economy. While there remains much turmoil in the economy and many questions about where our country and the world are headed, there is also much to be grateful for. The earthquake in Haiti this month reminds me in another way how fortunate I am to still have so much to be thankful for and things to look forward to. Entering the new year is a good time to pause for thanksgiving.
Among those things I look forward to is a visit to Yosemite in a few days. Last summer as I watched the Ken Burns documentary on the national parks I had made it a goal to get to Yosemite some day. As things have turned out, I will be traveling to the west coast this week for business meetings and will be able to take some vacation time afterwards to make a short visit to Yosemite for the first time. What a treat!
I had prayed a year ago that our national leaders would be 'mugged by reality' and some of that appears to be happening. Politics is never a place to put much hope, but a headlong rush in any direction, left or right, is cause for concern. The headlong rush seems, for now at least, to have slowed. I am grateful.
I take a lot for granted, but some of those things force my attention at times. This week the sewer line from our house to the street backed up due to roots growing into the pipe. Fortunately our house had a relief valve out in the yard so it did not show up in the bathtub! Among many things the builder did wrong in our house, they did that one right! Anyway, as the folks in Haiti go without even the most basic sanitation facilities, we still take sewers, water, and electricity for granted until they are missing for a short time. How great to have a working sewer system! How much more I should be thankful for other, more enduring things that I also mostly take for granted: life, family, forgiveness.
So, as January ends and I consider the new year, I have much to be thankful for and much still to look forward to. Happy (late) New Year!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Is Anyone Normal Anymore?
Last weekend we had our annual deacons retreat during which the oncoming deacons who are beginning a new term of service share their testimony of how they came to faith in Christ. I was struck this year by the number of men who had at least one alcoholic parent. As with most years, a great many of them also had been through a divorce of their parents as a child. Since divorce rates have been high for almost 50 years now, the number of men having grown up in broken homes was not a surprise, but I was struck by the number of men with alcoholic parents and the result that had in terms of periodic abusive treatment of them or their mother, and how it led to many of them abusing alcohol and other substances later.
Then on Thursday of this week we had a dinner event from the men's ministry at our church at which a man in our congregation shared his story of growing up in an abusive home in which he and his brother first endured the divorce of his parents and then later his father used his girlfriend to sexually abuse both of his elementary age sons. Since so few men are willing or able to discuss this sort of thing in a public event, it was a story that elicited in me both shock and outrage. I can somewhat understand (though I don't condone)how a man might resort to alcohol or chasing women after a hurtful divorce, but I cannot comprehend how a father could intentionally drag his young children into the cesspool with him. Hearing this man's life story made me wonder, in our society where perversion of many kinds is pushed as simply alternative lifestyles, how many other children have lived through this sort of thing. It made me wonder whether anyone is normal anymore.
Sexual abuse and drug use, including alcohol, are nothing new of course. It is well documented how perverse Alexander the Great and the Roman emperors were. Some have used this to argue that these things are not perverse, that we should accept them as normal since they have such a long history among 'great' people. We should ask folks like this man who told his story on Thursday instead. He was very clear on the damage it did, and how he struggled to eventually extend forgiveness to his father. It was not normal, and it certainly was not good.
One of the reasons that early Christians stood out in the Roman empire was that their moral lives were so distinctively different from the perversion that surrounded them. One of the great impacts of Christianity is the way it improved the lot of women and children in terms of ending abuse when their husbands and fathers embraced Christ. It may well be that apart from a Christian culture the abuse of sexuality and alcohol may be 'normal', but it has not been normal in cultures that have been dominated by Christians. We can expect to see more and more of this if our culture continues on its current path of abandoning Christianity.
Then on Thursday of this week we had a dinner event from the men's ministry at our church at which a man in our congregation shared his story of growing up in an abusive home in which he and his brother first endured the divorce of his parents and then later his father used his girlfriend to sexually abuse both of his elementary age sons. Since so few men are willing or able to discuss this sort of thing in a public event, it was a story that elicited in me both shock and outrage. I can somewhat understand (though I don't condone)how a man might resort to alcohol or chasing women after a hurtful divorce, but I cannot comprehend how a father could intentionally drag his young children into the cesspool with him. Hearing this man's life story made me wonder, in our society where perversion of many kinds is pushed as simply alternative lifestyles, how many other children have lived through this sort of thing. It made me wonder whether anyone is normal anymore.
Sexual abuse and drug use, including alcohol, are nothing new of course. It is well documented how perverse Alexander the Great and the Roman emperors were. Some have used this to argue that these things are not perverse, that we should accept them as normal since they have such a long history among 'great' people. We should ask folks like this man who told his story on Thursday instead. He was very clear on the damage it did, and how he struggled to eventually extend forgiveness to his father. It was not normal, and it certainly was not good.
One of the reasons that early Christians stood out in the Roman empire was that their moral lives were so distinctively different from the perversion that surrounded them. One of the great impacts of Christianity is the way it improved the lot of women and children in terms of ending abuse when their husbands and fathers embraced Christ. It may well be that apart from a Christian culture the abuse of sexuality and alcohol may be 'normal', but it has not been normal in cultures that have been dominated by Christians. We can expect to see more and more of this if our culture continues on its current path of abandoning Christianity.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
The Formality of Christmas
It was cold in Atlanta this morning, 18 degrees F, which was about the same temperature that it was when we left Strongsville, OH, yesterday morning. As a result most folks dressed warmly for church today, although some teenagers remained obstinate and still showed up without a warm coat or wearing flip-flops since being cool was clearly more important to them than being warm. I am sure they were very cool indeed! Nonetheless, their overly-casual attire as well as some of the folks in my generation who showed up in jeans and sweatshirts reminded me of how very few formal events remain in our culture.
In one of his writings C. S. Lewis talks about the occasions in which formality is a good thing, though I don't recall where he says this at the moment. I agree with him that there is a proper place for formality, and I think our culture has lost track of that. Lewis pointed out that one of the functions of formality is to cause us to pay heed to the importance of the event or the vows or the issues at stake. It used to be that folks wore suits to conduct business, attend a conference, to attend church and take communion, to graduate from school, even to attend school. These were in addition to weddings, funerals, and events of state like inaugurations and coronations. In each case the intention seems to have been to make an issue of the importance of the commitments and decisions being made. It was felt that formality in both dress and behavior reinforced the need for seriousness, honesty, fair dealing, and the keeping of commitments whether in business, school, government, or interpersonal affairs. Now we more and more dress down for school, business, church and many other places that were once more formal. I wonder sometimes at the size and overblown expense of weddings these days which runs counter to this overall trend. It is as if all the weight of the need for fomality in our culture has fallen solely onto weddings, as we have abandoned it in so many other places. Yet even there the solemnity has started to fall away as some folks dance down the aisle or stand barefoot on a beach despite the extravagant expense for clothes and receptions. I do not think weddings will be able to bear this weight without a better understanding of why formality is in fact appropriate at times, and those times need to be more frequent than weddings.
I am not of the opinion that dressing more formally for church creates a more penitent heart or a more sincere worship. Nor do I think that anyone lacking money for nice clothes should be left out. I do think it better reflects the importance of the occasion, however, and most folks dressing down these days pay more for their jeans with holes in them than they would need to pay for more formal attire. I do think that attire contributes to setting a tone for an activity and reinforces expectations for behavior. Even kids at school are less likely to roll in the mud when they are wearing a tie.
All of which reminds me of Christmas. While I can get tired of dragging out the decorations and setting up the tree, I do think it sets a tone and an expectation. Special musical events with choirs and orchestras in formal dress focusing on Christmas are events I love. While I am often already tired by the time we leave to attend church on Christmas Eve, the candlelight service with its entirely predictable yet solemn candlelighting and Lord's Supper service sets a tone for the day that is formal yet right. This can be overdone, especially the decorations, yet the idea of special, formal events, special clothing, special decorations remind us of the importance of the event and cause us to pause and remind ourselves why we are celebrating. And that is a good thing.
In one of his writings C. S. Lewis talks about the occasions in which formality is a good thing, though I don't recall where he says this at the moment. I agree with him that there is a proper place for formality, and I think our culture has lost track of that. Lewis pointed out that one of the functions of formality is to cause us to pay heed to the importance of the event or the vows or the issues at stake. It used to be that folks wore suits to conduct business, attend a conference, to attend church and take communion, to graduate from school, even to attend school. These were in addition to weddings, funerals, and events of state like inaugurations and coronations. In each case the intention seems to have been to make an issue of the importance of the commitments and decisions being made. It was felt that formality in both dress and behavior reinforced the need for seriousness, honesty, fair dealing, and the keeping of commitments whether in business, school, government, or interpersonal affairs. Now we more and more dress down for school, business, church and many other places that were once more formal. I wonder sometimes at the size and overblown expense of weddings these days which runs counter to this overall trend. It is as if all the weight of the need for fomality in our culture has fallen solely onto weddings, as we have abandoned it in so many other places. Yet even there the solemnity has started to fall away as some folks dance down the aisle or stand barefoot on a beach despite the extravagant expense for clothes and receptions. I do not think weddings will be able to bear this weight without a better understanding of why formality is in fact appropriate at times, and those times need to be more frequent than weddings.
I am not of the opinion that dressing more formally for church creates a more penitent heart or a more sincere worship. Nor do I think that anyone lacking money for nice clothes should be left out. I do think it better reflects the importance of the occasion, however, and most folks dressing down these days pay more for their jeans with holes in them than they would need to pay for more formal attire. I do think that attire contributes to setting a tone for an activity and reinforces expectations for behavior. Even kids at school are less likely to roll in the mud when they are wearing a tie.
All of which reminds me of Christmas. While I can get tired of dragging out the decorations and setting up the tree, I do think it sets a tone and an expectation. Special musical events with choirs and orchestras in formal dress focusing on Christmas are events I love. While I am often already tired by the time we leave to attend church on Christmas Eve, the candlelight service with its entirely predictable yet solemn candlelighting and Lord's Supper service sets a tone for the day that is formal yet right. This can be overdone, especially the decorations, yet the idea of special, formal events, special clothing, special decorations remind us of the importance of the event and cause us to pause and remind ourselves why we are celebrating. And that is a good thing.
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