One Flesh

"So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. "So says Genesis in 1:26-28 about the creation of mankind. It is an interesting text in that it says God created man (singular) by creating both male and female, obviously not singular. Yet this is consistent with the later passage in Gen. 2:24 that they would be 'one flesh'. In other words, it takes both male and female to make one 'man'.  This, we are told in the 1:26-28 passage is at least part of what is meant by being made 'in the image of God'.

We had special services at our church yesterday on the topic of marriage. Last week was also related to this in addressing the idea of homosexual marriage. In the sermon last week it was pointed out that marriage does not exist primarily to make us happy. While happiness is generally a good thing, it is not the highest good. Marriage exists primarily to make us more like Christ. It also is an institution in which we live out the image of God, by which we demonstrate something about what it means to be created in God's image.  It often yields happiness, but not always. Happiness is not it's primary object. As Christians, we see God as Trinity and therefore in an intimate and loving relationship among the Trinity, who are One. Marriage gives us a limited image of that union in marriage and the family, and gives us reason to look forward to that fuller union with Christ in heaven, as Paul describes the union of Christ and the Church. In marriage we learn to imitate Christ in putting at least one other (our spouse) ahead of ourselves, and usually more than just one other when children are born into the marriage. So to be more like Christ, and to live out the image of God in this world seem to me to be the primary goals for marriage. Both of those involve the idea of completeness.

Our culture, including in the church, generally doesn't view it that way, though. Most folks seem to think that the purpose of marriage is to make them happy. For some, it is to obtain financial security. For some, to obtain companionship. But it seems to me that all of these are self-centered, are subsets of 'happy', and none capture the essence of the Genesis passage about how it requires 2 to make 1. I think the gist of that is that the purpose of marriage is to make us complete. Male and female are both incomplete, and require each other to make one 'man' or 'one flesh'. Completeness is also our ultimate goal in Christ (see Col. 2:10), and Christian marriage moves us in that direction. Paul also points out that singleness that pursues a life more devoted to Christ can also move us in that direction of Christ-likeness, though marriage is the norm for most people.

If we as Christians proclaim the purpose of  marriage to be the pursuit of happiness, financial security, companionship,  or sexual fulfillment, and all of these are common, then our marriages are not different from non-Christians or from gays. But gay marriage cannot offer the completeness for which male and female were created as one male/female complementary union; nor can it share the image of God that requires the male/female combination that includes procreation as an image of God's creation. I think by focusing on happiness we have, within the Church, undermined marriage.

I read last week that the average age of marriage has increased still more since the current recession began, up to about 29 now. The same article said something like 40% of those 25-35 have not married. I must admit some concern about marriage in our culture, especially in the Church. Marriage seems to be less compelling for men and women yet more compelling to homosexuals. I wonder if part of that is because we have lost the vision of its purpose being completeness and  have replaced it with the idea that marriage is just one way among many to pursue happiness.